Fake Steve Schmidt and Friends

Posts Tagged ‘Election’

The week that was, or now I’m just going through the motions

In It's not that I've run the worst campaign in history is it? on October 4, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Okay guys, let’s sum up the end of the week shall we?

Bigger flag pin? Check.

Discredited and utterly false “Obama thinks our troops are murderers” smear? Check.

Sarah continuing to be retarded and not realizing how fucked we are in like a million states other than Michigan? Check.

And we might have to pull out of Pennsylvania too because we’re losing so badly? Check.

National polls continuing to slide to Obama? Check.

The press blasting Sarah’s debate performance? Check.

Obama continuing to win states Mark Penn said only Hillary could win? Check.

Our surrogates continuing to get served by Rachel Maddow? Check.

Dave Letterman continuing the assault? Check.

Oh, and experience and judgment?

Sigh.

Double sigh.

-Steve

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The strategy that wins us the election

In It's better than anything else we've got right now on October 2, 2008 at 3:43 pm

Other new messages we could try:

We’re losing because “life isn’t fair.”

We always tell 100% the truth, except all those times we 90% lie.

She’s not that bad, really. No seriously please just believe us.

The fundamentals of our campaign in Michigan are strong. Or, how to admit defeat in a key battleground state in 30 days.

Oh my God are we fucked in Florida too? FUCK THIS SHIT I’M GOING HOME

We could really use a deus ex machina right about now.

-Steve